my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
