The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize