Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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