i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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