Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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