Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
