Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
We need to get me chipped asap
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
