I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Randomize
