About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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