Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
