you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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