I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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