we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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