Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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