you guys were way drunker than both of me
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
