it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
