distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
