Plan B is the new Plan A
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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