One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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