Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
