im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
