You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
