ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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