Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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