it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
