Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
