I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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