Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
