you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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