No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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