I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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