i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
