he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I fill condoms, not promises.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Randomize