you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
