As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
