Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
