you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
