what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
