He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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