Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
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