In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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