new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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