I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
