dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
