Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
