Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize