you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
