I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
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