Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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