She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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