I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize