If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize