Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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