the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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