Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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