he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
