It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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