So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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