dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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