NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize