my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
