Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
