In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
