you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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