If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
