just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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